The One?

Growing up you often hear that someday you are going to meet “The One.” Movie lovers imagine themselves in the scenes that give them chills, music lovers drift away in song lyrics and artists can illustrate who that person is with only a sketchpad. For chivalrous romantics like myself, it was an ever-changing, visionary transformation of who “The One” will be. What will she look like? What will her personality traits be? Then of course the most basic question of all, how will I know? The most basic question of all deserves the most cliché of answers – you just know.

One October day in 2010, I returned to my apartment at college after class with the usual degree of college-kid “enthusiasm.” I climbed up the stairs to my second floor apartment, opened the door and walked in unaware that I was about to learn how being “awestruck” actually feels. Normally I would do a quick wave to my roommate in the living room chair across the room and proceed to the right to my bedroom down the hall, but not that day. That day I took a left. I remember House M.D. being on TV, which was a common occurrence in our apartment and my roommate Vince sitting in one chair, but there is only one vivid sight from that moment of destiny. Across the room sat a beautiful, mysterious girl with her curly, brunette hair falling perfectly out from underneath her sorority hat and hugging the sides of her face. Though her hat brim’s shadow masked most of her hazel eyes, she oozed confidence with a coy smirk. Elyse still asks me when I knew she was “The One” – that brief second that she paralyzed me.

I say brief second of paralysis because the next few seconds were spent anxiously trying to reset myself back to being in control and cool. I could not have this attractive stranger know so easily that she just brought me to my knees with a glance. I used my conversation with Vince and comments on House to disguise my path to Elyse’s chair where she sat still concealed under her hat playing her own game of cool. I knelt for the first time in front of her and introduced myself along with a comment on how she has been hiding. I would like to think it was Clark Gable style and went something like, “where have you been hiding my whole life?”

“Hi, I’m Elyse,” said the no-longer mystery girl with a degree of boldness. Her green eyes mesmerized me and I was in love. Our friendship took shape in the next twenty minutes filled with sarcastic jabs mixed with flirtation. Shortly after Elyse needed to leave for an event and left with her signature cliffhanger line – “I’ll see you around…maybe.” She walked out of my apartment, but she had already crashed into my heart.

When you’re instantly smitten with a girl you know a friend of yours knows more about, you do

what any normal guy would do in that situation – interrogate him immediately. I peppered poor Vince with a million questions about who Elyse was, was she single, how he knew her, etc. I needed to be briefed on Elyse to understand if there was an opportunity to court her or if this was going to be a harsh reality. I mean, how could a girl so coy and beautiful be single? I’d find some of those answers out later on during her hard-to-get phase but I had the information I needed. ;) From there I went to the next logical modern day courting step, Facebook research…Elyse will call this “stalking.”

Unaware that Vince had voluntarily blown up my spot that I was extensively “researching” her page, Elyse friend requested me slyly giving me access to everything. It’s funny to think back at how exciting a Facebook friend request was back then. The new digital friendship sparked an onslaught of flirty messages trying to outdo each other until we finally exchanged the all-powerful phone numbers. Our communication was often and effortless, talking about everything from activities and classes to food and parties. Elyse would only go quiet during classes and sorority events and I during hockey. We became inseparable quickly, spending as much as time together watching House, doing homework or just staying up talking as late as possible. Elyse was always far more successful at completing her work than I was because I spent most of the time sneaking glances at her. There was no topic off-limits in our conversations, we wanted to know anything and everything about each other’s ambitions, dreams and fears. Elyse’s favorite line was and still is, “tell me a secret.”

She was (and still is!) everything I ever could have ever dreamed of finding in a girl. She was ambitious, confident, creative, mysterious, sarcastic, strong and unique. She was filled with these amazing qualities and feistiness, yet protective of herself in every way. It was amazing, but like all things that accelerate too quickly, there were obstacles in life that pushed us to go our separate ways. We finished our college careers largely separate and it seemed that the dream of what our destiny together would be was fading away. I focused on jumpstarting my career and working multiple jobs, explored other relationships but never filled the void I could still feel from Elyse’s absence. I mean, look what happened to the original Romeo and Juliet when they were apart too long…

She tells me today that I came on strong; I say that’s because I knew back then I was going to marry her. I was right, as usual :D

And Life Goes On

My life became primarily in New York as I worked on a career in advertising and a night job working for the New York Rangers. There were lots of hours worked and late nights commuting back and forth so it was a much welcome surprise when in only my first year at Ogilvy, I received a text from Elyse. It turns out she was about to interview for a different location with the same company. Thankfully she was persistent and continued to keep in contact with me despite my focus being stupidly elsewhere.

Not long after being back in touch, Elyse reached out to let me know she was coming into the City for an interview and asked if I’d like to meet up. Initially, I was both nervous and excited at the opportunity to see her after so long and decided to make time to do so. I was so excited in fact, that I skipped out of an unimportant meeting on 11th avenue and made my way back downtown to meet her. Anxiously we hugged hello and headed to the upstairs deck of Local, a common Rangers bar right outside of Madison Square Garden. Local was fairly empty as it was the afternoon. We sat at the corner table overlooking the street, she wore pink and radiated in the sun across from me while I melted in business attire. The time apart from each other evaporated as quickly as the hours passed sitting together. My work schedule and her commute home were no longer priorities because we were together again. We ate our lunch, had a drink and talked throughout as if we were on our hundredth date together. When we finished, I walked her into Penn Station, kissed her on the cheek and pulled out an old line. As I strutted happily back to work, I texted her wishing her a safe return home and reminding her she’s still my, “Juliet.”

Despite the flashes of our past and the unsaid feelings for each other that we both knew were there, there was still no reconciliation. I dedicated myself to my work and enjoying the social life that came with being in New York City and career identity. I entered into another unfulfilling relationship and largely kept my thoughts of a better future to myself. The physical and emotional toll of commuting, little sleep and lack of passion began to translate into a negative outlook. The vision of Elyse and her enthusiastic approach to life never left my mind, but it seemed like it would be no more than a memory. I learned she would be moving to Florida, and when I accepted the reality that it was true I also accepted that fate was not on our side.

Just...Maybe?

When life began to really challenge my happiness, I decided to take a chance reaching out to Elyse in the hope of reigniting that spark again. I wasn’t sure what her life had shaped up to be down in Florida or what her current dating situation was. I texted her saying, “Hey, kid” and the first page of the “six-year gap” story began to be written. It began as texting to catch-up on life and quickly expanded to phone calls and FaceTime. Once again we began to spill ourselves to each other from the day’s events to deeper life needs and wanting to see each other. It was easy to say, but how would we make Florida-New Jersey visits work?

Well that opportunity presented itself thanks to one of my best friend Kyle’s upcoming wedding and a guest vacancy I had. The question wasn’t who but if Elyse would agree to accompany me – she said yes. After explaining who this girl was that was flying up from Florida to join me to my family, the day came for Juliet to fly in. My heart was racing as I drove to the airport unsure of what to expect. I had the vision of the girl I once was so close to, the recent conversations and the hope we’d be the same and little else. After receiving the text that she had landed and was headed to meet me, my heart began beating fast and the sweat machine turned on. Elyse appeared, with a hat of course, looking as cool and beautiful as ever. We hugged tightly, I became a bumbling idiot and we headed to the car.

Despite my nervous speech, we talked as if no time had passed from college to that moment. I couldn’t help but smile looking over and seeing her back in my passenger seat all over again. I wanted to just reach across the console and hold her hand, but I knew that could be risky. I introduced her to my town, we picked up food and headed back to my house to hang out. From that moment on the nerves faded away and I felt as if she was already my girlfriend. She met my family who immediately gave looks of approval and we spent the wedding weekend carrying ourselves as if we were naturally a couple. Those around us were convinced we had been dating for years based on our fun, loving interactions throughout the days. As the weekend drew to a close we both wanted to know the expected question: what now? After all of this time apart and my admission that I never stopped loving her, how could we allow it to fly away again? Reality eventually brought us back down to earth as we drove to the airport and Elyse returned to Florida after a painful goodbye that felt a lot like a scene out of “The Family Man.” We didn’t know it just yet, but this would only be the first of many, many airport send-offs. As I drove home feeling like a part of me just left, I wasn’t sure how we’d eliminate 1,000 miles of distance, I just knew I’d find a way.

A Flight, A rental Car, and Disney

And find a way I did only a few weeks later as I was already on a plane headed back to see her. I needed Elyse to know that I wasn’t just a throwback weekend attaching emotions to our past. I was the present and wanted to be the future and would fight to make our dream a reality because I couldn’t lose her again. After a few days with my cousin, I drove across the state of Florida in a rental car to Elyse’s house. The ride seemed endless and my heart was beating fast all over again. I had no idea what I would be in for when I walked through her front door to re-meet her family who I’d known only briefly years before. The moment she came outside to hug me again, I felt at home.

Elyse brought me into the house to meet the family and I immediately felt very comfortable. I introduced myself and we all got to know each other, especially their Rhodesian Ridgeback named ‘Jersey.’ I knew there was some sizing up going on as all family’s should do but there was lots of easy conversation. As I learned the Goodhue’s do often, we traveled to Walt Disney World the next day. They introduced me to the customary sing-a-long car ride and quickly reminded me that I had a lot of brushing on Disney lyrics to do. The day in the park was amazing as I was both awestruck with being back in the Magic Kingdom for the first time in years and happy to blend in and joke around all day with the family. They thought they’d see me fail to keep up with them and the long day…they did not!

I felt even more at ease knowing how comfortable I was with the family and the good time we had all had together. Once again Elyse and I faced a goodbye as I was heading home very early in the morning and she was heading to her office. We walked outside early in the morning, the dew fresh on the grass and cars, and hugged and kissed goodbye profusely. Everything had been so perfect and yet here we stood facing another moment of uncertainty about our future. Since 2010, I had spoken the words “I love you” to Elyse maybe a dozen times, each time resulting in a response other than “I love you too.” It was something I had once desperately craved to hear but had long since accepted I likely would not. Despite that, I leaned down and whispered “I love you” in her ear so as not to regret not saying it before leaving.

She responded with a giddy, “I love you” followed by an enormous smile and attempt to flee back to her car. I was paralyzed momentarily with shock and elation. I walked her back to her car and kissed her goodbye one more time while reiterating that I couldn’t believe she said it over and over again. I followed her to the highway turnoff for the airport, beeped to each other, had a quick phone conversation and drove off to the airport with my head in the clouds from what she had just said to me.

We can only be fair

A plane ride of contemplation and a few weeks of late night phone conversations later, we were still trying to grapple with the concept of long-distance. We were in love and we knew it, but true love can also hurt and without a realistic solution to the distance, we chose fairness to each other and not dating. We wanted to be truly together, not just able to say the words “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” without enjoying all that life has to offer side-by-side. The late night phone calls never stopped, nor did saying “I love you” – we were committed, loyal and in love. I knew being fair was the right thing to do, but I also knew she was the One and the distance my heart would feel missing out on her was far greater than 1,000 miles.

11:45PM New Years Eve

​We made a plan to spend New Year’s Eve together that year because to be honest, I wanted her to be my New Year’s kiss because reminder, I’m a romantic. Around 11:45pm on December 31st, 2016, I pulled Elyse off into the guest room at her house. I crouched down and leaned on the side of the bed so she laid down to face me to talk. The moment wasn’t entirely planned, but I began to ad-lib about how far we had come from our past in college, to that day and the vision of the future that we had for ourselves. I rambled on as I often do in moments of passion, but I was lost in telling the girl I loved all of the different ways and reasons that I loved her. She was my best friend, my partner, my adventure, my escape from the endless clockwork in my head and she genuinely loved me. I went against everything we had agreed to and told her I couldn’t take it anymore because I couldn’t stand it, let’s stop holding ourselves back from what we want, and asked her to be my girlfriend.

If you don’t know by now – she said YES! Well actually in the big love moments Elyse doesn’t just say “Yes!” first. She first got teary-eyed, asked “really?” and then said “yes!”

And Forever More

After that New Year’s kiss that I wanted so badly and many more, we’ve never looked back. Our relationship has been as romanticized as the classic movies and is no false reality for social media – it is genuine love and happiness. Less than two years later I slightly outdid my first ‘proposal’ and asked Elyse to marry me in front of our families and strangers in the lobby of the Grand Floridian. It was almost flawlessly executed after months of planning and fit for a Princess, as Elyse is. If you don’t know by now again – she said YES! Well, as I stated before, she first got teary-eyed, then nodded, then I said you have to say it, THEN she said “yes!”

For a couple that prides ourselves on movie quotes and believes in the magic of the classic Disney love stories, there was no more perfect script than ours. We fell in love, faced obstacles which we overcame together and are now approaching the beginning of fulfilling our destiny together. The belief in love and what is meant to be has been restored and is better than I ever could have imagined.